thirty.

Hi, I'm Katie, and I'm 30 years old.

The older I get, the more I realize that I actually have no idea what I'm doing with myself or my life. I just skimmed some journal entries from years last and I was just so... Sure of myself. I really thought I had it all figured out. I defended my life path decisions because I just KNEW to the core it was right, yet I look back at those same decisions and ask myself, "WHAT WAS I DOING?!"

Yet, I know that Heavenly Father accounts for a lot of special things when designing this master plan He has. He accounts for my ability to choose, and for my lack of wisdom, understanding, and willingness to submit at various times in my life . He knows I'm just a baby spiritually, in the grand scheme of things, and He sure isn't gonna hold back blessings and opportunities from now because I just didn't get it yet five years ago. And in some weird way, that path I took years ago - the one that probably wasn't the smartest one but I was too stubborn to recognize it? It was still somehow the right path, because it led me to be here, now. And you know what? I like it here, and I like being me.

I just hope that 30-year-old Katie is wise enough to not think she's got it all figured out anymore. If I've learned anything, it's that I've simply got to take one day at a time and hand my life over to God, as cliche as that sounds. Sometimes that means letting go and trusting Him enough to guide me, and other times, it means allowing Him to trust me to figure it out and make my own decisions. 

There's a new kind of freedom that comes with admitting I don't have all the answers, or any of them, really. I like to think I have opened my mind and heart enough to let the Spirit squeeze in just enough to guide me on the best paths, one tiny path at a time.